


Cruel or not, I still love you

by sooyoungexquisites



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mark is an Asshole, Really Very Angsty, You'll probably hate mark, lucas is whipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 10:17:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18050618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sooyoungexquisites/pseuds/sooyoungexquisites
Summary: Lucas is like the Golden boy of their university. He's smart, an engineering student, president of the student council, rich, well built, a gentleman and a total head turner.The only thing that could be wrong is that he's got a boyfriend; a cruel one that is.





	Cruel or not, I still love you

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the manga "Inlove with your selfishness"

Lucas is literally head over heels for Mark. He'll do whatever the younger ask. Buy him lunch, take him on a date, watch a movie, buy him new clothes, new phone, new laptop, airpods, etc. Technically everything Mark wants. If Mark wants the moon, Lucas will probably do his best to give it to Mark. He's so inlove with the younger that he learned to compromise with Mark's conditions. He lets Mark decide most of the time. Every argument leads to Mark winning because Lucas is always the first one to step down, the first one to apologize even though he didn't do anything wrong at all. Lucas just don't want to see his boyfriend upset so he always give up to Mark.

Mark, of course, is not blind to this; the way Lucas acts around him. While everyone looks up to Lucas, he is Mark's puppy.

Mark might be a little cruel though. Lucas is like the Golden boy of their university. He's smart, an engineering student, president of the student council, rich, well built, a gentleman and a total head turner. Lucas is so perfect that Mark felt proud and jealous at the same time. Plus the fact that he's the bottom between the two of them did not help either. So Mark intentionally bully Lucas.

It makes him feel better watching such perfect boy crumble in front of him. It satisfies him whenever Lucas is on the verge of tears, telling Mark how sorry he was even without doing anything wrong at all. He love it when Lucas begs for his forgiveness. 

But Mark do loves Lucas, he cares for him and he always makes sure to be next to Lucas. Afterall, there are lots of predators around, though this prey only lets Mark devour him. It's just that sometimes, jealousy overpowers his love for Lucas leading to a situation where he intentionally creates problems to mess with Lucas.

Mark is also a sucker for attention, specially from the golden boy of their university. He likes the jealous glares from girls who fancies his boyfriend as well as these bisexuals and gays who wanted to get into Lucas' pants. He overheard such conversations a lot of times and there's not been a time where they didn't hear spicy words from Mark.

No. They will never have him. Lucas is Mark's, only belongs to Mark.

After Mark's second subject ended, he immediately texted Lucas that his afternoon classes are cancelled and that he wants to go out on a date.

Lucas replied with an, 'Okay baby! Can you wait until 1pm?'. Mark is not stupid, but he's cruel. He knows that Lucas still have classes until 4pm but he will ditch it for Mark. Somehow, it brought a smile to his face. 

He answered with an, 'Okay baby, see you!', plus a kiss emoji which will most probably make Lucas blush in the middle of his class.

Lucas replied again with: 'See you! I love you!'

Mark: 'Oh wait. Our class representative said that we will resume class at 2pm and will probably end at 4pm. Let's meet at 4 okay?'

Mark lied. Maybe he's not that cruel? It's 12 at noon and he can wait for Lucas until 4pm. That shouldn't be a big deal.

Lucas: 'But I want to see you asap :( '

Mark giggled, muttering a 'cute' before replying: 'Study hard you doofus'

They exchanged another set of i love yous before finally stopped texting.

ㅡ

Mark is beyond pissed. He didn't wait for four hours plus another one because Lucas told him he'll be late to get stood up by Lucas himself.

Lucas texted him:

MARK? BABY, I'M SO SORRY. I DON'T THINK WE CAN HAVE A DATE TODAY. DIRECTOR TOLD US THAT THERE'S A PROBLEM WITH A SPONSOR FOR THE UPCOMING SCIENCE EXHIBITION. I'M REALLY SORRY, BABY. I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU TOMORROW! 

With all caps thinking that Mark will understand. He's wrong though, Mark is furious. Earlier, he was scolded by a professor during his 5 hour wait thinking that he's slacking off instead of studying and now, Lucas is not coming made him even more angrier. 

He replied with a; 'Don't bother,' so Lucas will know how unhappy he was but what made him even more irritated is that Lucas didn't reply.

He went home with a burning aura and a bad mood which earned confused glances from his roommates, Renjun and Donghyuck.

Mark wouldn't admit it but he was waiting for Lucas to message him until 10pm and he almost exploded until he realized that his phone is actually turned off. Mark smirked. So that's why, huh? He expected his phone to blow up with notifications once it was turned on but to his utmost disappointment, there was nothing. Which is very un-Lucas.

Just what the fuck is he doing?!

He didn't bother texting Lucas and went to sleep with a scowl on his face.

Lucas will get it from him this week.

ㅡ

The next morning, Mark almost smiled with a text from Lucas.

'Goodmorning baby. Can we please meet today?'

He decided to leave him on read and went to his first class. It ended quickly and Mark hurriedly exited the room, scanning the hallway for a tall, perfect boy that is his boyfriend but then again, Lucas is not there. He checked his phone to be greeted with nothing but a text from Renjun.

Lucas? None at all.

Mark want to fly into a rage but he decided to calm down for a moment and look around for his boyfriend. Mark was at lost for words when he saw Lucas sitting on one of the benches, holding a bouquet of flowers with a beautiful Yuqi next to him.

They made an eye contact and Lucas' face turned into a full smile which he only give exclusively to Mark. Lucas made an effort to say goodbye to Yuqiㅡ which Mark did not like, and ran towards his direction.

Sometimes, Mark thinks that Lucas forgets how huge of a man he is and hugs Mark's small body with such force that they almost fell down.

"I missed you," Lucas mumbled while his head occupies the crook of Mark's neck.

Mark decided not to reply for further torture. When Lucas sensed that Mark is still angry, he broke the hug and faced Mark, "Here," Lucas handed him the flowers, "I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to message you last night and this morning," Lucas sighed, "I only managed to get an hour of sleep because I need to fix the proposal for the Science exhibition," Lucas explained.

Mark took the flower and then noticed how tired Lucas looks. "Okay," Mark replied, "I need to go to my class now," he said before turning around and started walking away. He knows, Lucas is probably looking at him with sad eyes and slumped shoulder but Mark is still angry. He's nowhere near forgiving the taller specially when he got to be with Yuqi before being with Mark.

He spotted a trash can and threw the bouquet before continuing to walk.

Lucas saw it.

His morning classes ended within a blink of an eye and Mark is already walking out of his room when one of his classmates called him.

"We're going out for a karaoke night! You should come with us!" Jeno said.

"All of our friends will be there," Jaemin seconded.

"Okay. Text me the details," Mark agreed and he almost laughed when all of them erupted in loud cheers. Well, how long was it since the last time he hung out with them? He was too busy having a relationship with Lucas that he he forgot about his friends.

He walked out of the building and was surprised that Lucas is waiting for him on the front. Lucas have his major class during this time. Mark got angry and marched towards a worried Lucas.

"Why are you here?!" He asked through greeted teeth.

Lucas looked scared, "I'm sorry, I just really want t-to talk to you," he answered while looking down. He can't take the hatred in Mark's eyes. It hurts him.

"You decided to ditch your class because you want to talk to me?! Are you going to blame me if your future got ruined?!" Mark hissed.

Funny because Mark used to make Lucas cut classes a lot whenever he felt like going out and he doesn't want anyone to accompany him but Lucas.

"No! Of course not, Mark," Lucas immediately answered, he even waved both his hands as if telling Mark how wrong he was. "It's just, I can't take it anymore. Are you still angry at me?" Lucas' eyes is so honest, Mark can tell how scared Lucas is so he turned away. He can't let himself be tricked by such beautiful eyes.

"I'm busy Lucas. Let's talk some other time," Mark replied, trying to dismiss the conversation. 

"Then what about tonight? Can I come to your dorm?" Lucas sounds so pitiful and it made Mark even more angry. Lucas' cheeks is red and he looked very sad.

"No. I have a test coming and I need to study tonight," he again rejected the older.

"Then tomorrㅡ"

"Look, Lucas, I'm really in a hurry, okay?! Can you stop bothering me? Even just for a day, can you?!" Mark shouted this time and started walking away from Lucas.

Lucas felt like a nuisance to Mark and he can't take it. He also turned around and started walking away to the opposite direction. He blinked harshly, trying to get rid of the forming tears in his eyes. Like a dog, Lucas really did followe what Mark asked. He didn't call or even text Mark the whole day. He didn't dare to walk close to Mark's building so he wouldn't annoy the smaller with his presence.

ㅡ

"I didn't know Mark can rap well!" Jeno beamed with his eyes glittering with admiration. 

"He rapped?!" The female girl shrieked to her content, looking all excited and flushed, "Damn, I should've come!" She continued. It was Mina. Mark's admirer since their freshman year and even though Mark's already in a relationship, she was never afraid to show her admiration towards Mark, atleast not in the way where she will ruin Mark and Lucas' relationship. 

Lucas never really liked Mina. Aside from the fact that she's really pretty, she's a girl who fits Mark's ideal girl perfectly and if only Lucas didn't move fast, Mark's probably in a relationship with Mina now.

"Yeah! He's really good. Him and Renjun sang Baby Don't Stop last night," Jeno continued and that's all Lucas heard before the voices towns down as Mina and Jeno is already walking away.

Last night? Lucas thought Mark said he's gonna study for an upcoming test?

Did Mark lie to him?

Lucas didn't have a time to contemplate because Mark appears on the door and they made an eye contact. Lucas smiled at Mark and approach the him, "Hi," he greeted and Mark only looked at him before turning his gaze to Lucas' hands. "Ah, these are for you," Lucas handed him a cute yellow duck plushie and a small container which the insides are visible. It contains greatly cut watermelons and it looked very delicious. 

Mark accepted it and Lucas almost celebrates until he realized what happened two days ago. He just hope Mark won't throw them away again. He can't bear  heartbreak for three consecutive days, "Are we okay now Mark?" He asked.

Mark started walking so he walked beside him too. Lucas guesses they're going to be okay since Mark hasn't pushed him or glared at him yet.

 

"No," Mark replied and all his hopes shattered like a broken glass.

 

"C'mon Mark," Lucas sighed, "I'm really sorry, okay? Baby, please forgive me," He did sound genuinely sad. It hurts him so much whenever him and Mark argue and he just wanna make-up and cuddle Mark. He misses him so much.

"If you're tired then break up with me," Mark replied, his voice is emotionless and Lucas can't believe Mark is saying such words.

"N-no! Of course not! I don't want to break up with you! Where is this coming from?" He panicked, his voice got even louder that they got unwanted attention from the other students. There's no way Lucas ever dreamed of breaking up with Mark. Just the thought of it makes his heart feels as if it's being stabbed a thousand times.

 

"You sound tired," Mark replied nonchalantly. Lucas looks so miserable looking at him like that. He can see the tears forming on Lucas' eyes and he can tell that soon enough, he will cry in the middle of the student body.

Really, huh? Lucas is willing to be humiliated just for him?

 

"No, baby. I-I don't want to. Don't break up with me," Lucas' voice broke and he's very worried right now.

 

"I never said I'm breaking up with you," Mark replied, maybe that's enough bullying for today. He watched how obvious Lucas' expression changes from woeful to hopeful. What a transition, Mark made that.

 

Their talk was interrupted when suddenly, Yuqi appeared, "Mr. President, the school director is looking for you," she informed, not sensing the heavy air of the situation.

 

"Can you tell him I'll follow? I'm in an important conversation," Lucas replied and Yuqi's brows furrowed.

 

"Huh? With who? There's no one here," Yuqi replied confusedly and Lucas' eyes quickly made his way to where Mark was earlier.

Mark's not there anymore. Lucas looked around and saw that Mark is already far away, running really fast.

"Let's go! He said it's very important and it's about your scholarship too," Yuqi sounded worried about the reason.

With one last sad look to Mark's back, they made their way to the director's office. 

 

On the other hand, Mark is beyond furious. It's always been that girl who ruins everything. First she's the student council's vice president so she was able to spend time with Lucas the same amount of time as Mark. It's inevitable to be close and even though Lucas already know about his deep jealousy towards Yuqi, the taller can't do anything because they need to interact most of the time. Now this, Mark always feels like Yuqi is always there with them and he hates it.

He reached the cafeteria and got called by his friends. He went to them and felt someone staring at him. He looked around their table and saw that it was Mina. Once their eyes connects, Mina smiled at him, "Hi Mark! I heard from Jeno that you're really good at rapping!" She said cheerfully. Well Mina has always been cheerful so it was hard to hate her. She's also very nice and bright and although Mark is aware that Mina likes him,  Mark also see that she has never tried to flirt with him knowing that he's already in a relationship. It was easy to be friends with her.

 

Mark smiled back and Mina turned red, "Ah, not really. Just average," He replied shyly.

"No way! Koeun showed me the video! You're so good!" She replied feverishly.

"Thanks," Mark said.

 

"Sure. Anyway, that's really a cute plushie," Mina commented after seeing what's in Mark's hand, "Lucas gave that to you?" She asked. 

Mark thought of another cruel idea, "Ah no. My brother sent it to me as a tease. I don't really like it. Do you want to have it?" He asked and he never saw Mina nod in such enthusiasm that he almost thought she'll break her neck. He handed her the duck plushie and Mina shrieked in joy. Mark and the others could only laugh.

That night Lucas sent him hundreds of messages to which Mark decided to ignore. He's still angry. Lucas' calls were left unanswered either.

ㅡ

The next morning, Mark was so surprised to see Lucas right infront of his door.

"You gave the plushie to Mina," Lucas looked at him angrily, "What about the watermelons? Did you gave them to her too or you threw them away again?!" It was sadness and resentment combined with the way Lucas screamed his words towards Mark.

 

Lucas never shouted at Mark so the latter was very surprised at the sudden high in Lucas' voice but he was able to calm himself, "Stop being dramatic, Lucas. It's just a plushie," Mark replied and started walking. Lucas wanted to defend how much that plushie meant to him but he decided to let it go.

 

Lucas grabbed Mark by the wrist to stop him from walking and Mark let out a gasp of shock because Lucas was never this harsh to him. When he turned around, Lucas' expression was very unexpected. He's looking down and his lips is on a thin line, "I'm sorry," Lucas mumbled as the tight grip on his arm loosen. 

 

Mark crossed his arms, ignoring the prickly feeling on his arms, "What is it? I didn't hear you," Mark taunts. The pleasure of seeing Lucas like this boosts his confidence. Lucas loves him so much and it motivates Mark to bully him even more.

 

"I said I'm sorry," Lucas repeated, he courageously looked at Mark, "Baby, I'm so sorry,"

 

Mark looked away, "You didn't even try to follow me yesterday," Mark said in voice that he's sure will make Lucas melt. "You went with Yuqi instead,"

 

"This isn't even about Yuqi, I almost lost my scholarship Mark," Lucas informed and although he didn't intend to, there's a hint of disappointment in his voice as to why Mark can't understand him.

 

"You're rich, Lucas. You don't need a scholarship," Mark fired back.

 

"Being rich doesn't validate me as a person. I can't hold anything towards wealth, Mark. I can't lose my scholarship," Lucas explained in a strained voice.

 

Mark can't argue with that, "So you're willing to lose me instead?" he replied.

 

"Oh c'mon Mark," Lucas replied in an exasperated tone.

 

The day went by with Lucas bombarding him with messages and bothering him during lunch but Mark's resolve is too strong that he managed to resist Lucas.

 

He went to his locker to change books and found letters of different colors all from Lucas. What is he up to this time?

 

Mark did what he needed to do and ignored the letters unaware that Lucas is watching him with trembling lips and crestfallen eyes.

 

ㅡ

 

Mark woke up feeling unusual. He didn't find a thousand messages from Lucas. He wasn't infront of Mark's dorm room or Mark's classroom. He didn't see the taller male during lunch or even after his last subject. Not even a call or e-mail.

 

Mark is furious.

 

He decided to go and walk around the school grounds. He's not in the mood to go home yet and he's pissed as fuck. What made him even more enraged was when he saw Lucas laughing with Yuqi, both of them holding a large number of papers. It seems like they're going to the student council office and then what? Are they gonna make-out behind Mark's back?! 

 

Is Yuqi the reason why Lucas seemed to forgot the existence of his boyfriend? Is Lucas really gonna ditch him for real now? Why?! Because he can't take Mark's attitude anymore?!

 

Mark didn't even realize that his eyes began to form tears and before it got to stream down, he harshly wiped it all away, his expression changing into something that will most probably terrify Lucas. There's no way Lucas will be the one to dump Mark. If there's someone who's gonna end this, it's Mark.

 

Lucas eyes fell to where Mark is and they were locked into each other's gazes until Lucas decided to break it and continued talking to Yuqi. Mark was at lost for words. Never in his life he thought Lucas would be like this to him. He stood up and intentionally bumped into Lucas which made Lucas loosen grip to the papers and soon after, they papers are flying everywhere. 

 

"What the fuck is that Mark?!" He shouted as those papers are very important. "What was that for?!" He continued shouting. He's already very stressed since the first day their problem started plus the student council mess too.

 

Mark looked around and saw that people are already watching them. It was very humiliating for Mark to be shouted like that infront of the student body. This is the first time, fuck.

 

Lucas' eyes widen upon realizing what he did. Lucas noticed Mark's face turning red, the sudden increase with the way he breathe and his lips trembling. Mark is about to cry and Lucas fucked up, "I'mㅡ I'm so sorry, Iㅡ I didn't m-mean toㅡ"

 

"Let's break up," Were Mark's exact words.

 

"What?! No!" Lucas immediately declined.

 

"It's not a question, Lucas. I'm so tired of you," Mark is back again with his monotine and it terrifies the shit out of Lucas. No he can't lose Mark.

 

Lucas did something that made everyone gasp. He kneeled in front of Mark and grabbed both Mark's hand. He was looking down while shaking his head as a sign of disapproval. "Mark, no..." And then Lucas started to sob. "Please don't do this," 

 

Even Mark was doesn't know what to do. This is another level of being stupid and Mark knows he doesn't deserved to be kneeled down. "Get the fuck up Lucas," he said with deadly voice while trying to get him to stand up.

 

"No, tell me you don't want to break up first then I'll stand up," Lucas is sniffing, trying not to choke a cry out as he talk, "Mark please..." There's no word to describe how such heartbreak felt like. Lucas just won't let Mark go, not today, not ever.

 

"Damn then do as you fucking please," In the end, it was Mark's pride the won. He took his hands off from Lucas' grip and started walking away. Lucas watched him walk away until this sudden rage popped inside him. His tears stopped and he decided to follow Mark.

 

He took him by the wrist and despite Mark's screams to relase him, Lucas continued on and pulled him to an empty classroom. Mark's resistance is to no use since Lucas is way stronger that him.

 

"What the fuck Lucas!" Mark immediately screamed at him once they're already inside, "Listenㅡ"

 

"No you fucking listen to me, Mark fucking Lee!" Lucas growled and Mark's tongue is suddenly numb and he can't talk. Lucas looked so terrifying. He never met this kind of Lucas within their two years of relationship. 

 

"You want to break-up?! Fine! We're over! You're tired of me?! Hah!" Lucas let out a disbelieving grunt, "No, I'm fucking tired of you! So fucking tired of your selfishness! Your jealous ass! You being unreasonable most of the time! You constantly breaking my heart and using my own love against me! You're so cruel, Mark!"

 

"I love you but this is too much! You're too much and I can't do this anymore! Do you even know who's special day today is? It's my fucking birthday, asshole! But you decided to ruin it. Fine! Let's not see each other ever again!" Lucas' red face is the last thing Mark saw before Lucas left him alone inside the classroom.

 

ㅡ

 

Mark's trying to focus on the thing that is playing on the tv. He refused to acknowledge the growing crack inside his heart. He doesn't want to think about what happened earlier and the fact that after spending two year of his life for Lucas, he's back to square one.

 

There's a knock on his door and like a ghost, he walked to get it.

 

To his surprise, Lucas is standing there with an unreadable expression on his face. Maybe the reason why he didn't cry is because deep inside, he knows that Lucas will always come back to him.

 

"What are you doing here? You were so angry earlier that I didn't think you'll come here again," Mark commented even though his heart is beating so fast right at that moment.

 

"I only came here to get my things," Lucas replied and even in his voice is expressionless.

 

Mark gritted his teeth before answering, "Ah, is that so? Let me get them for you," Mark made his way to his room and Lucas followed him.

 

He opened his closet and started fishing Lucas' things which is a lot since Lucas is like always there with him. He purposely slowed down his movements as he waited for Lucas to apologize and take back what he said earlier but as the clock ticks, Lucas remained silent. 

 

He's really serious about the break-up, Mark thought.

 

Once he finally put the last shirt inside the paper bag, his hands started to tremble and he didn't notice that he's crying already. Lucas is really gonna leave him; for real...

 

"...s-sorry," A word that is frequently used between the two of them which is mostly by Lucas but this time it was Mark. He turned around and throw the bag away ro the other side of the room, far from Lucas. "Lucas! I'm sorry! Don't leave me!"

 

Mark's face is full of tears and he looked very frightened. It was a rare sight from someone who's always confident, full of pride. It was very heartbreaking to see. Before Mark could even say another word, he's already enveloped by a hug coming from Lucas. The hug was extra tight and Lucas can feel Mark's body shaking because of the intensity of his cry.

 

"Shhh, baby. Stop crying," Lucas said, kissing the top of Mark's head, "I'm not going to leave you. I actually came here to apologize and take back what I said earlier but you looked so scary and I panicked," Lucas explained, patting Mark's back as the smaller cried even louder.

 

Mark hugged him back and hid his face on Lucas' neck. "I... I'm very sorry. I was such a bad boyfriend to you," Mark said in between sobs, "I don't want us to break-up,"

 

"Stop crying baby, there won't be any break-up happening today or in the future. I love you, okay?" Lucas said with finality in his voice and maybe he's really stupid to forgive Mark but love works differently and no one will understand unless their on the person's position.

 

"I love you too," Mark replied in a soft voice and soon enough they're already kissing each other feverishly. When Mark felt Lucas' hardness on his leg, he immediately stopped Lucas. 

 

"Wait, not today," He said but Lucas is already hovering on top of him with such hunger in his eyes.

 

"Oh yes, we're gonna do it today, Mark. Now remove your clothes on your own because you might now be able to wear them again if I did," The sudden change in Lucas' voice gave him goosebumps. He's not threatening or anything but the way he said it is such a turn on for Mark.

 

Where is his puppy Lucas who always do as he say? Who's this sexy beast right on top of him? But whatever, Mark happily obliged, he gonna make it up for making Lucas cry earlier. 

 

It was such steamy yet full of emotion sex. They forgot how many round they did but they immediately cuddle after. Mark's head on top of Lucas' chest while the latter's arms are wrapped around Mark's bare waist.

 

"You're wrong Lucas, I didn't forgot about your birthday. Your cake is actually in the fridge," Mark said and Lucas hugged him tighter and Mark knew Lucas felt guilty, "Happy birthday baby, I hope you liked your gift,"

 

"Very much. I suddenly hope everyday's my birthday. Thank you, I'm sorry, I love you," Lucas planted a sweet kiss on Mark's lips.

 

"I'm sorry too, Lucas. You didn't deserve the way I treated you and I promise to be better because that's what you deserve. I love you more," Mark replied and soon after, they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you like it? I hope you do.


End file.
